if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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