At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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