Me too!
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
