you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
