i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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