when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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