He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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