Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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