the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I could fuck to npr.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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