Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
