I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
