He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
