The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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