During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
