i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
