So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
