Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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