just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
