Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
