Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
