Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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