I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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