On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
