She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He better not be in your backpack
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
