you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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