Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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