I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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