Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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