they need to just BURY HIM!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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