I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
