he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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