i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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