What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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