and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
