so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
