**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
