a queef is a wish your heart makes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
