Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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