Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
