She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
