well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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