She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
