I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
