I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
