I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
