he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
