Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
