I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
