How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
