He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
