In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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