i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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